The Silver Sexual Revolution was my presentation. In spite of our workshop room being buried deeply in the bowels of the Hyatt (purple level, West tower, no escalator), and our time slot couldn’t have been more challenging (the lunch hour), our topic of sexuality and aging ruled! They can’t keep the pioneers down! We garnered a decent crowd, and the discussion was lively. I shared the stage with Anita Hoffer, PhD (the really smart one – Harvard professor), and Peggy Brick, MA (the Grande Dame of sex education in this country – maybe the world). A distinguished panel, we talked about our own work, and the mission of the new Consortium on Sexuality and Aging – a compendium of talented professionals devoted to this critical topic.

We talked about the need for redefining how we view intimacy at midlife plus – and taking the emphasis off the grand poobah, intercourse, and onto pleasuring and enjoying intimacy without the pressure of “going all the way”. That’s really a message for all ages, but, lucky for our age group, it’s our theme song.

I discussed the need for staff training in independent living, assisted living, and skilled nursing around the sexual expression issues. A whole skill set is needed for staff in dealing with these issues, both in accommodating couples within a community, and accounting for dementia and sexuality. Some tough challenges rear their heads , but with love, hope, and focused skills and protocol, we are able to help. Staff training and policy development for staff and administration is my specialty.

The highlight for me was  Ken Dychtwald, the keynote speaker Wednesday morning. His key learning points, from my vantage point were:

·       Only 20% of medical schools in this country have Gerontology specialties.

·       If that is the case for general programs in geriatrics, imagine the small number of schools that actually allow training in sexuality. Not many! And yet it is the baseline of who we are.

·       Boomers need a financial wake-up call. We will no longer be able to create wealth from thin air. Instead, we need to take a lesson from our parents, and heed the call of savvy spending and savings. It’s never too late to start.

Great convention! Thank you, ASA and NCOA for giving us a week of updates, promises, and hope.

When you run a residential community in assisted living, how do you provide privacy for the older single adult who has fallen in love again – or simply wants freedom of sexual expression? What about legal issues with the family? How much power should conservators have over the conservatees rights? Is there a policy in place that is a statement of values for the community? Does the staff have the communication skills to address sensitive situations? What if an older gentlemen asks “favors” of a young CNA? I’ll be addressing all of these issues.

Some statistics to consider:

• 25% of all adults over 75 are sexually active.
• 90% of the same group have sexual thoughts every day, many times a day.
• 17% would like to act on their thoughts – in addition to the 25% already active.

Yes, sex is alive and well in the 75+ crowd. As professionals, we must provide solutions, hope, and love. There’s work to do!

Everything you ever wanted to know about getting older (cringe) or “aging” (double cringe) is happening in Chicago this week, Monday March 12 – Friday, March 19. Check out the website for the Aging in America Conference.  I look forward to speaking to this ASA/NCOA conference this year!